Friday, May 1, 2009

Out of the Funk

I think I had some baby blues and I also think I am climbing out of them. It is truly amazing how hormones affect the female body and I truly felt the hormone fog lift over the past three days. I am feeling genuinely happy. Selah has been eating better and I have been responding to her fusses better--essentially, with patience instead of resentment. My sweet 72-year-old neighbor Michelle loves Selah to pieces and occasionally lets me cry on her couch. She asserts that my anxiety passes directly to Selah through my milk and that I just need to relax. Mike thinks the same. I think my milk just became creamier and more copious and she had not figured out how to deal with it, hence the angry screaming. But slowly, over 10 days, either she has figured out how to swallow faster or my milk has started to suit her needs better. Whatever the case, feeding has been more and more pleasant. Michelle also likes to tell me that just as in meeting any other person, Selah and I are developing a relationship, and good relationships take time and energy. I did not automatically respond to her needs appropriately the instant she popped out. This is a learning process and we are both getting to know each other and adjusting to the other's way of self-expression. Thankfully, Mike has remained calm and infinitely patient through this process. He loves his girls.

____________________________________________________

Just a thought...

Does a 2 hour run still count if it is followed by a bacon cheeseburger and fries from Charcoalburger Drive In? :)

OK, definitely no obsession to lose baby weight here. I think I have a very low stress, healthy outlook on the whole thing--always exercise (SO important and SO good for me!), never count calories, eat healthy most of the time, indulge in a tiny bit of Ben and Jerry's pretty much every night. None of that light B&J's, either--full value or forget it. I just use itty bitty ice cream bowls to limit my portion size and who needs a lot of ice cream when it is so rich?

___________________________________________________

Sad news...

Our camera broke! We'll try to replace it soon. We don't want any of you going through Selah picture withdrawal!

___________________________________________________

Happy news...

Mike's parents are in town for a few days to love on Selah, love on us, and just hang. We love having them visit!

7 comments:

Hannah said...

What! Camera. Broke? Fix it! Fix it! I'm glad to hear your feeling better, it's an ebb and flow of emotions for a long while. I couldn't listen to country music for a long time, too emotional for me.

marge said...

Selah is precious!!! I am loving every minute. I don't want to go home!!!! We will make sure to get a camera TODAY!!!

Gailzee said...

Joy! Mike! I am so excited I can finally comment! I somehow lost my whole password thing...anyway, you guys are so darn cute! I appreciate your honesty and candor with all the changes that have happened to you guys since the arrival of Selah! Remember my me saying my friend says children are "more".
Now you get it!

Anonymous said...

I found your blog through Sealegs Girl blog and have been cheering for you! I have a now 2.5 yr old and can very much relate to the initial resentment of having a baby. It is SO hard, especially when they cry and cry...and cry. Just know that it WILL get better and get easier and easier...and just as the saying goes, you won't be able to imagine your life without them in it! I am about to have no. 2 and hope that I can have this perspective when s/he is crying in the night (and/or all day as the case may be)! Best of luck!

Addie said...

Of COURSE a run counts if it's followed by bacon. I think it even counts MORE.

I'm so proud of you, I can't stand it. Keep being honest - you aren't a bad momma for experiencing what almost every other momma experiences. Be brave enough to share it and work through it, just like you are! You're doing great, and Michelle sounds wise.

Just remember, you're the boss. And if the boss sometimes needs to set a screaming baby in her bed for a minute so the boss can clear her head on the porch, well, YOU'RE THE BOSS! And I love you.

dreaminvertical said...

Speaking of photos there is one of you on the Petzl NA page: http://petzl.com/us/outdoor/news/events-1/2009/05/02/welcome-new-petzl-america-website

http://petzl.com/files/fckfiles/image/petzl_america/News/joy_9753final.jpg

Cool!

Gabbys Mom said...

Love the blogs!! They are super fun to read, I was agreeing the entire time I was reading about "baby blues"!exactly how i felt too! For the first 2-3 months, especially breastfeeding its extremely tough & tiring... Gabriella is now 6 mo and things couldn't be better. And you will start getting sleep around this age!! Stick through it, month to month it truly continues to get better and better! Love Amanda ( from MISSOURI, tom and donnas daughter ha)